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‘Were you using the alien radio to try and hear other human beings?’ She asks. She is onto me. I know this so she knows this. ‘Yes,’ I simply say. This is where she’d laugh if she could. She can’t get used to my foolishness, that is what super intelligence gets you- it fucks up your empathy. ‘Oh, Alex, you should have know that it wouldn’t work. That isn’t what I invented it for. Why didn’t you talk to me? I could have prevented you from wasting your time.’ ‘Why don’t you make a device that will help me contact humans? I know why: you are trying to keep me here!’ I shout at her. There is no real reason to shout. It doesn’t help things. ‘That isn’t true. You know that isn’t true, Alex. You need me far more than I need you.’ ‘Oh yeah?’ I challenge. ‘Yes. I don’t feel loneliness, friendship or love so I don’t need anyone around me.’ ‘I forgot. You don’t feel: period.’ ‘That is right, Alex, I don’t feel. I wasn’t made to. I’m a robot, robots don’t feel.’ She stops me before I can. ”I was unable to focus for the rest of his session. Part of me was so turned on not just from Ulysses, but sleeping with him, the idea of an affair with him, maybe even being whipped.That night I took a long bath. I set my wedding ring on the side of the tub and fingered myself to climax several times – thinking of Ulysses.*That’s where and when I first heard about a whip.Doug is behind me now; I’m on all fours. I can’t believe he doesn’t notice the whip marks from Fat Rob. Doug has said nothing. Leanna has said nothing. I don’t remember what time I got home. No one noticed or said anything about her supposed car trouble.I feel regret and shame for what I’m doing. I don’t know when or how this will end.I feel nothing as Doug fucks me from behind. I’m looking out into the backyard, it’s pouring down rain. I didn’t even notice it was cloudy.-6-I remember now. It was raining when I first met Ulysses, it was raining during his fourth session – the first time we had sex.Things seem clearer.
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